How to Politely Say “No Kids Allowed” at Your Wedding
Let’s be honest…telling people their kids aren’t invited is awkward.
You’re not trying to be the villain in a movie, but you also don’t want a toddler screaming during your vows or goldfish crackers smashed into the dance floor.
If you’re feeling nervous about how to say “no kids allowed” without upsetting friends or family, you’re not alone…and you’re not doing anything wrong.
This post will walk you through exactly how to word it, where to say it, and how to handle any pushback with kindness and confidence…so you can protect your peace and enjoy the adult celebration you’ve been dreaming of.
Why Some Couples Choose a No-Kids Wedding
There’s no shame in wanting your wedding to be adults-only. In fact, more and more couples are going this route for a bunch of totally valid reasons:
- You’re on a tight budget and can’t afford extra meals or high chair rentals.
- Your venue has restrictions – some don’t allow kids for safety or liability reasons.
- You want a relaxing, grown-up vibe without the background noise of crying or chasing toddlers.
- You want parents to actually enjoy themselves without worrying about bedtime or meltdowns.
Whatever your reason, it’s your day. You get to set the tone that feels right for you.
When and How to Communicate It Clearly
The key to avoiding drama? Be upfront, be clear, and be kind.
Don’t wait until the last minute or bury it in fine print. The earlier and more clearly you communicate your “no kids” policy, the less confusion (and pushback) you’ll deal with later.
Here’s where to include it:
- Wedding Website: This is the best place to explain your decision in more detail.
- Invitations: Keep it short and polite…no need to over-explain.
- Save the Dates (optional): If you’re inviting a lot of parents, you can give them a heads-up early.
- In Conversations: If someone brings it up, be direct but friendly. A simple explanation goes a long way.
Polite Wording You Can Use:
You don’t need to sound formal or harsh. Try one of these:
- “Although we love your little ones, our wedding will be an adults-only celebration.”
- “We respectfully ask that this be a kid-free event so everyone can relax and celebrate with us.”
- “We hope you’ll enjoy a night off and join us for an evening of grown-up fun!”
Short, sweet, and clear. That’s the goal.
FAQs and Common Concerns
Even if you communicate it clearly, some guests may still have questions (or just… ignore it). Here’s how to handle the most common situations:
Q: Can we make exceptions for a few kids?
A: You can, but try to be consistent. If you allow some kids (like nieces/nephews or your flower girl), be clear about who is invited…and make sure it’s obvious on the invites.
It’s totally okay to say:
“Only children in the wedding party will be attending. We hope everyone else can enjoy a well-deserved night out!”
Q: What if someone RSVPs with their kids anyway?
It happens more often than you’d think. Don’t panic…just follow up kindly but firmly.
What to say:
“Hi [Name], I noticed you included [Child’s Name] on your RSVP. Just wanted to clarify that we’re keeping the wedding adults-only. We totally understand if that changes your plans, but we really hope you can still make it!”
A quick message or call clears it up 99% of the time.
Q: How do I avoid hurting people’s feelings?
You might feel guilty…but remember, this isn’t about their kids. It’s about the kind of experience you’re creating for your day.
If it helps, you can say:
“This was such a tough decision for us…we love your little ones, but we’re keeping the wedding adult-only so everyone can really relax and enjoy themselves.”
Lead with kindness, then let it go. You’re not responsible for someone else’s reaction to your boundary.
What to Say to Close Family or Pushy Guests
Even if your wording is polite and clear, there’s always that one person who doesn’t get the hint (or pretends not to). And when it’s a close family member or friend? The guilt trip can be real.
Here’s how to handle it with grace and zero drama:
1. Stay calm and kind, but don’t waver.
What to say:
“We love [child’s name] so much, but we’ve decided to keep the wedding kid-free so everyone…including the parents…can have a relaxing night.”
2. Acknowledge it’s not ideal for everyone.
What to say:
“We totally understand if this makes attending harder, and we’ll miss you if you can’t make it…but we hope you understand our decision.”
3. Don’t feel like you have to over-explain.
You don’t need to justify your reasons over and over. Sometimes the best answer is simple:
“This is what works best for us.”
4. Don’t let guilt run the show.
You’re not being rude. You’re being clear about what kind of day you want. That’s more than okay…it’s healthy.
Offer Helpful Solutions for Guests With Kids
You’re not responsible for figuring out childcare for everyone…but offering a few helpful suggestions shows that you’re thoughtful and makes the situation easier for guests to navigate.
Here are a few simple ways to do that:
1. Recommend local babysitting services
If your wedding is out of town or a destination, look up a few trusted local babysitting agencies or care providers.
You can say something like:
“For those traveling with little ones, we’ve listed a few local babysitting options on our wedding website if you need a night out!”
2. Suggest hiring a sitter at the hotel or venue
If many guests are staying at the same hotel, you could recommend they coordinate a group sitter in one room.
Bonus: It lets kids stay together and gives parents peace of mind.
Note:
My wife and I attended a wedding where a handful of parents hired 2 people through a babysitting agency.
At the time we only had one child (a one year old).
He was being cared for at the hotel where the wedding was held with 4 or 5 other kids.
It was easy because we could pop over anytime we wanted to check on him throughout the reception.
3. Mention nearby family-friendly hotels or attractions
If families are making a weekend of it, consider adding:
“We’ve included a few family-friendly things to do in the area if you’re turning it into a mini trip!”
This helps soften the message and lets parents feel included…even if their kids aren’t invited to the actual event.
Final Thought:
You’re not saying “we don’t like your kids.”
You’re saying “we want this to be a relaxing, adult-centered day.”
That’s a huge difference…and the people who matter will understand.
Set the Tone and Move On
At the end of the day, you’re allowed to create the kind of wedding experience you truly want…and if that means no kids, that’s okay.
The key is to communicate early, clearly, and kindly. Say it with confidence, back it up with grace, and then let it go. You don’t need to explain yourself over and over.
This is your day.
Your vision.
Your rules.
And trust me…when you’re sipping champagne on the dance floor without worrying about nap schedules or meltdowns, you’ll be glad you stuck to it.
Additional Wedding Planning Tips and Ideas
Here are a few more posts that you might find helpful when planning your wedding:
